Back in 2003, college was still a fresh part of my life. Being on my own, becoming an adult, and accepting my queerness were still learning experiences for me. It wouldn’t be something that I was completely comfortable with until I was into my 30s, but I found a way to express the feminine part of methrough Japanese RPGsbefore that. That feminine energy I was starving for came out in droves whenFinal Fantasy X-2dropped in late 2003.
“Y. R. P. in position. It’s showtime, girls"Rikku purrs into a mic, just as an imposter Yuna took center-stage to sing “Real Emotion,” an upbeat pop number that reeks of the electro-R&B fusion that made Britney Spears and NSYNC tickets sell out in a matter of minutes. Yuna breaks free from the confines of societal expectations and the weight of her past responsibilities as a summoner in the lyrics.
As the song’s title suggests, Yuna’s real emotions are at the core of her desire to express herself authentically. The song reflects her self-discovery journey and her decision to move out of the shadows of her past to create a destiny for herself.
“Real Emotion” also conveys a message of hope and excitement for the future. Yuna’s experiences in Final Fantasy X were filled with sacrifice, loss, and duty. In Final Fantasy X-2, Yuna undergoes a transformation and reclaims her agency. Her song expresses her eagerness to discover the world, experience new adventures, and follow her own path.
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As part of her story in FFX, Yuna adhered to Yevon’s teachings and prepared to sacrifice herself for the greater good of humanity. As soon as she realized the religious doctrines were based on false promises, she took control of her own destiny. After overcoming sin, she lost Tidus, leaving her in a strange state of limbo.
My most-played song in 2003 was “Real Emotion.” The song captivated me so much that I burned it across three blank CDs, and I couldn’t stop talking about it. Even though my college friends weren’t necessarily gamers, they shared my queer identity and were equally drawn to Yuna’s vibrant pop aesthetic. One of my friends, whom I affectionately called my godmother because he introduced me to the world of queerness, spent hours upon hours in my dorm room learning the choreography to “Real Emotion” with me. To this day, whenever I listen to the song, I can still mimic Yuna’s dance moves.
There were many things Yuna and I had in common. At 19, we had both is just begun to experience the world, andI was several months over a rather emotional pivot in my life in which I had written in my journal, “I am gay.” It remains one of the most cathartic and painful moments of my life. Dating, my first kiss, and even asking a guy out were all things I had never done before. It innocently paralleled Yuna’s goal of finding the right guy, which too was fill with youthful idealism and naivety.
The ballad “1,000 Words” emerges at a critical moment in X2. Yuna encounters Lenne, a tragic figure related to the song, in the world of the dead. A mystical connection merges their spirits, and Yuna’s voice resonates within this ethereal realm. The audience is transported into a vivid dreamscape as her melodic notes fill the air. A poignant visual depicts Yuna and Lenne’s struggles, love, and sacrifices within this mesmerizing realm. With the song as a conduit for their emotions, hopes, and desires, the two weave a tapestry of shared experiences, enfolding all who listen. Yuna’s journey of self-discovery is metaphorically represented in the song, as she breaks free from societal expectations. The song emphasizes the importance of communication and the complexity of expressing yourself.
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I have learned to embrace new experiences and grow as a queer person through Yuna’s story. Yuna confronts her mistakes and learns from them. Near the end of the main narrative, Yuna tells Nooj (on of the three new leaders of Spira’s factions) that his plan to save Spira “sucks.” He was willing to sacrifice himself to bring the world-ending machina Vegnagun down, but she points out the pain she went through losing Tidus and others who are no longer with her, for which she blames herself. She refuses to let history repeat itself, refuses to make the same mistake again, leading to her not only saving Spira but also brings Tidus back at the end.
This resonated so much at the time, because in my own way I was trying to avoid repeating mistakes. During that semester in 2003, I met my first “boyfriend” (he wasn’t really my boyfriend, but in my naive young mind I figured he was after we kissed and I confessed my feelings). Love, I thought, was meant to be like in the movies, but that wasn’t true on two levels: first, movies ham things up, and secondly, queer love faces challenges related to societal norms, discrimination, and prejudice.
Being queer and falling in love openly takes a level of resolve that would take more than one relationship for me to understand. And the only way I’d learn to love is through multiple heartbreaks. The first guy I kissed didn’t feel the same way, and it took me a while to get over my first heartbreak. This was the first of many heartbreaks, and I learned to be resilient, even when I wanted to give up or close myself off, just like Yuna.
Final Fantasy X-2’s portrayal of Yuna’s journey and its embrace of feminine energy emerged as transformative forces in my personal development. Back in 2003, when college life was still a fresh chapter for me, Yuna symbolized the courage to explore my queerness and express my authentic self.
In spite of the fact that the game itself was not inherently queer, I found comfort and representation in the female characters I clung to and lived through vicariously. FFX-2 became an emblem of my personal growth, reminding me that striving for authenticity is worthy of celebration and holding dear.
